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Welcome to the world's most dangerous Improv show, where two mighty teams of gladiators will take the stage to prove who is the best of the best. This is not an exhibition. This is a no-holds-barred competition. The audience determines the winner each week via secret ballot. The winner returns the following week to defend their title against a new challenger. Thursday's at 10:00 pm
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| Congratulations to GO DUMMY! February 6, 2026 |
| Congratulations to GO DUMMY! for winning the 2025 CAGE MATCH CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS! GO DUMMY! outscored HOOPTY, giving them their first Championship. The team cut down the net in their "One Shining Moment" and enjoyed room temperature Nachos BellGrande® in front of a sold out house of delighted CAGE-A-MANIACS. Both teams had great shows and we all set a new attendance record of 163,001. What a night! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HOOPTY Hits, Hops into Finals February 6, 2026 |
| In the dazzling lights of the TETRAGON, the final round of the SEMIFINALS in the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS came to a dizzying conclusion, when indie supergroup HOOPTY snagged a sublime sublimation on SPAGHETTI, the darlings of the Magnet Theater stage. Yes, CAGE-A-MANIACS, as the old song tells us, truly WE WERE FAMILY that night as both teams brought ladlefulls of laughs and spoons of snickers. But when the check came, it was HOOPTY who cashed it and SPAGHETTI who was cashed out. HOOPTY will go up against another indie sensation, GO DUMMY!, next week. It'll be indie on indie action--but only one will be crowned the winner. Who will it be? WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE ARENA! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| GO DUMMY! Goes to the Finals January 26, 2026 |
| Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A... there are many ways to go, but last THURSDAY, the way the UCB audience went was DUMMY! If our copy was too cryptic, leave us to be more concise: GO DUMMY! took the win in the first round of the SEMIFINALS and will be competing in the FINAL ROUND of the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS! But it was a hard won victory, as the titanic trio of THE WORKING GROUP put on a great show. When the laughter faded and the lights came, the audience was decidedly split in their choice and it all came down to a single vote. For anyone keeping track--and, CAGE-A-MANIACS, believe when we tell that we wouldn't hold it against you if you you're not one of those people (in fact, no one actually reads our little column here)--this marks the SECOND TIME IN THIS VERY CONTEST where a team has nearly eked by a single vote. That other team? Friends, would you believe it was once again GO DUMMY!? Yes, it seems this team has a particular panache for perilous palms. CAGE-A-MANIACS, the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS is shaping up to a superb spectacle. We'll see you ringside!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| SPAGHETTI Scampers to Semis January 26, 2026 |
| House teams to the left, house team to the right, it was house teams all around last Thursday when TWO HERALDS of the improv stage when toe-to-toe beneath the CAGE MATCH LIGHTS. THE PROPHECY, one of UCB's HOMETOWN HAROLD TEAMS, went up against SPAGEHTTI, shining star of the MAGNET THEATER's MEGAWATT! The technicalities of the tectonic territorial tensions twixt the two theaters is a topic for a thereafter time--all you need to know now is THE HEAT WAS ON and, as nonnas all across Italy have taught us, the only way to make SPAGHETTI is with the HEAT ON HIGH! Yes, Cage-a-Maciacs, SPAGHETTI took the win and will be the last team to join the FINAL FOUR in the SEMIFINALS. Our knuckles are paling just thinking about it! WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE TETRAGON! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HOOPTY Hits Hoop, Sinks Shot, Scoots to Semis January 15, 2026 |
| Webster's Dictionary defines winning as "the act or event of taking victory in a contest." After rigorous examination, we here at CAGE MATCH HQ can confirm that is exactly what HOOPTY did in their battle with HELL YEAH! HELL YEAH!, despite their strong musical flourishes and idiosyncratic iambic pentameter, could do little to overcome the hilarious hijinx of HOOPTY. HOOPTY will be the third team to enter the semifinals of the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS. Who will be the fourth and final team to be assigned that allotment of awe? Come to the final round of the quarterfinals to find out! (dictated but not read) |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| THE WORKING GROUP Gets a Promotion, Moves on to Semis January 9, 2026 |
| Some people are known to work a room, but a WHOLE GROUP? Forgive us, dear reader, while we comedically spit out our beverage in disbelief. But on a grim winter's eve in a theater at the heart of the capital of the world, all manner of scientific propositions were put packing, a rapt audience of cage-a-maniacal onlookers bore witness to not one but THREE simultaneous shooting stars. Loyal reader, you've probably gotten ahead of us: THE WORKING GROUP took the win against former house team DAY TRIP. DAY TRIP, a talented group of scrappy imrpov ingenues, dazzled from debut to denouement but they were ultimately TRIPPED up by the GROUP effort. If you missed it, we hope you kissed it, cage-a-maniacs. But fret not! We're only halfway though the QUARTERFINALS and there is plenty more excitement to be had. We'll see you there! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| GO DUMMY! Advances to Semis in Staggering Single-Vote Stunner December 12, 2025 |
| America’s elder electrician once said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” The high-tension hijinx of Cage Match has taught us a powerful third lesson: “In the Tetragon, ANYTHING can happen!” Don’t believe us? Take a gander at the FIRST ROUND of the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS, where two sensational sets were the subject of debate. The teams? Two-prov titans STEPHEN AND PATRICK and indie darlings GO DUMMY! The result: after forty-eight minutes of unmitigated comedy gold, GO DUMMY! took the win and will be one of only four teams to advance to the semi-finals. The twist? It all came down to a single vote. That’s right, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, YOU could have been the one to decide first round of the quarterfinals! There’s only one more quarterfinal match this year before we open the stage to beloved benefactor Saint Nicholas and feared phantom Krampus. That’s two shows you won’t want to miss--WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE ARENA!!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| SCUBSY Scuttles HAPPY TO BE HERE’s Highness Hopes November 23, 2025 |
| Like a shooting star that is suddenly overshadowed by a solar eclipse, the COSMIC BALLET of the TERTRAGON is known for its unexpected and spontaneous choreography. This inescapable fact was never more evident than it was on Thursday, when untamable upstarts HAPPY TO BE HERE went head-to-head with indie sensation SCUBSY. Let us reify our arithmetic, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs: the incumbents? HAPPY TO BE HERE, a freshly formed confederation, hot to trot and hoping to front Cage Match’s twenty-fifth season. Their competition? SCUBSY, famous in their far off fatherland of France, who have hither swept the sweet shores of our saluted States with their hilarious hijinx. The result? HAPPY TO BE HERE was decidedly UNHAPPY to have their dynastic aspirations asphyxiated by the mononymous make-em-up megalith of SCUBSY. HAPPY TO BE HERE, we were happy to have had you. And SCUBSY, we salute you and eagerly await your match next year’s season opener. But for now, all eyes are on the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS! We don’t have to tell you where to be on be DECEMBER 4th--WE’LL JUST SEE YOU THERE!!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HAPPY TO BE HERE Happily Destroys DUCHOVNY November 20, 2025 |
| CAGE-A-MANIACS near and far know that in the TETRAGON that there are upsets and there are UPSETS. DUCHOVNY, the UCB improv super-group and winners of last year’s CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS, were considered by many of the city’s FINER BOOKMAKERS to be a shoo-in for the CONTEST. Yes, friends, there was safe-money to be had betting on DUCHOVNY to be a dizzying dark horse. And dig the DISSENTERS: a HAYWIRE HIVE of performers new and old, coming to the stage not just as a NEW TEAM but as a new team performing in their FIRST SHOW. Their name? HAPPY TO BE HERE. Their aim? TOTAL VICTORY AT ANY COST. Truly friends, it was a CLASH FOR THE AGES featuring teams with style as different as FIRE AND ICE. But when the melee mitigated, the halogens haloed on only one team. Yes, CAGE-A-MANIACS, history was made, because HAPPY TO BE HERE stormed the stage and won not just the evening, but also the hearts and minds of the stunned crowd who sat at gobsmacked attention. Let us not be misunderstood, CAGE-A-MANIACS, both teams put up an epic showing--but like the GOOD BOOK tells, there is a quarter IN THE CAGE. DUCHOVNY die-hards, fret not! We don’t though this is the last time the toes of this talented team will tickle the tiles of the TETRAGON. And HAPPY TO BE HERE heads? Come back next week to see if these INGENIOUS INGENUES will be the season openers next year--of if HAPPY TO BE HERE will just be happy to HAVE BEEN there. Buckle up, CAGE-A-MANIACS, we’ve only one show left before we dive headfirst into the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS. We’ll see you ringside!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
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